So why do I have this desire to just go? Currently, I’m in the type of position where leaving the house makes me anxious. It’s embarrassing to admit but when I think of interacting with other people and going out to do things I just feel exhausted. I hate feeling this way, but at the moment it just feels so much easier to stay in familiar places. I want to shed this. I want to eliminate this strange fear.
But besides that, I’ve always had an interest in seeing the world–in discovering the ways other people live. I want to see other perspectives. I like people-watching and new environments. Growing up I went to nine different schools. I have lived abroad once before with my family in Germany. I guess I was just brought up to move around.
I remember when I was trying to recruit students for my university’s International Club. I asked questions I thought would receive an enthusiastic YES. However, I was surprised that a lot of responses to “Do you want to travel to other countries?” or “Do you want to learn about different cultures?” were a firm “no” from incoming freshmen students. Were they crazy? Shy? How could someone really not be interested in exploring something beyond the state or region they’ve grown up in? What is this life? I believed that everyone wanted to travel to distant places, but I found out that people who travel are a subgroup of the population at large. Some people are content with staying in one place. Well…not me.
Perhaps I long to travel because I’ve never really had a hometown. I have never had a place that I was rooted to and that has given me this freedom to wander. Some may think people travel to get away from things, but I think that I am travelling to find something. And it’s this idea that there is this big something waiting to be found that drives me.